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I’m sorry Matt; I really am. Please don’t think bad of me. I care for you; I really do, but John is the man the Gods mean for me to be with.”When I got home to the apartment she was gone. The only trace of her left was the apartment key and the engagement ring I gave her sitting in the middle of the kitchen table.Did I try to find her and have a face to face with her? No I didn’t. Why bother. All I would hear was her saying that she had found Mr. Right. I didn’t need that. I already hurt bad enough from just the phone call.Life took on a bleak sameness for me.“End of dayGo back homeHave a bit to eat then go sit in the living room aloneEasy chairWatch TVHalfway through the news I’m soundly sleepingNo I won’t go so far as to say that I’m fineToo much of what I felt for you remainsI’d like to believe in the healing hands of timeBut the truth is I really can’t sayIf I’m getting better or just used to the pain.”It was a couple of months before I had any interest of meeting someone of the. Lisa pulled me off away from them to an area without quite so many people before she asked, "You have done it at school too?"I shook my head and told her not at school, but I tried to do it in the shower on this trip, but someone barged in on me. I told her how Joel and Martin had even taken a pic of my boner that they were going to show around to tease me."If they had come in ten seconds later I would have been too busy to have heard them and really would have gotten caught in the act," I told Lisa.Lisa gently touched my arm as she leaned closer to say, "I always tried to do what the other girls were doing when we slept over at Anabel's but it never did anything like what they said happened to them. I never got all wet like they did either, so I was sure something was wrong with me. Then in health class this year we learned everything they censored out in Sex-Ed back during sixth grade. I noticed a lot of the boys had boners when we left class that day. I never noticed any boys.
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